Stuck in a moment.....

Oy vey!!!

2012-01-09T18:55:00.003+05:30

I’ve been off the grid for a while now. A whole fork in the road/career shift/re-evaluation of priorities type of situation kept me busy. A little back story here... Alchemy shut down in June 2011. The next month was spent trying to get the team placed and negotiate a takeover with the help of a couple of buyers. Although most of the team did get placed eventually, the buy-out negotiations fell through and Alchemy ended up being taken over sans its sales, research and dealing teams. A few rejoined under the new management, a few walked. Either way I decided this was it for me in sales. NO MORE. I had spent enough of time and energy in a profile I didn’t like, the money was fun but that was about it. Being diagnosed as insulin resistant a bare fortnight before the company closed also tipped the scales against getting back into sales. So although I did attend several interviews that my bosses and a bunch of well meaning consultants set up for me, my heart wasn’t in any of them. While the sudden cessation of a very fat salary was scary, listening to my interviewers drone on about what they felt Alchemy did wrong and how they would do it right, despite their glaring lack of empanelment’s, just made me feel incredibly tired. I was nearing 30, had spent the previous 6 odd years doing something that brought me no joy, was sitting on a ticking time bomb of a stress related medical condition and was looking at two options, quit now or struggle on and risk being one of the masses to be caught in the retrenchments to come. I chose the former, naively thinking that shifting careers while difficult would not be impossible. Serves me right for forgetting the teachings of Scott Adams!

I have to say here that although I hated being a sales woman, my clients were a godsend. The moment Alchemy announced its closure a gratifyingly large number of them rallied around me offering advice, support and most importantly contacts. The first thing I did was have a session with one of my ‘mentors’ his advice was first figure out what you want to do and then decide how to go about doing it. So to figure out what I wanted to do I spoke to a number of stalwarts in various industries about various job profiles. I used family contacts, client contacts and Linkedin. Other than learning about what various jobs entail and even trying out one alternative, I also got an insight into sheer stupidity that is rampant in the whole recruitment process in corporate India.

First off, everyone wants to hire young minds that can be easily moulded. All that crap about being hungry and being foolish... yeah riiight, I’d like to see clients responding to a hungry and foolish sales or research team. I remember my hungry and foolish days, let me tell you, being hungry and foolish didn’t bring in squat. It was experience that got me client support and therefore deals, big deals that then got me money. Second is the whole lateral move. If you are moving from industry into financial services that’s good. You can become a sector specialist of sorts. If you’re trying the reverse, you have to do an MBA or an EMBA because, and I have this on good authority from several sources, “Recruiters don’t know how to fit you into the existing structure if you come to them as a lateral.” Apparently ‘recruiters’ will poach from their competitors or hire from a B-School campus. Hiring from any other source will cause the universe to implode. Third... and this one left me speechless... although you may have the skill set required by a particular profile but may need a basic amount of training, NO ONE IS WILLING TO GIVE IT TO YOU UNLESS YOU ARE HIRED FROM A B-SCHOOL CAMPUS!?!?! I don’t know about you but when I heard that I was stunned. Are you freakin serious? So over-hiring, offering crazy salary hikes and fabulous packages is fine when the goings good, but let the business cycle turn down and suddenly those must have hires are too expensive and low cost resources are needed, fat needs to be trimmed, belt tightening etc, etc.

Here’s an idea, how about planning your resource requirement? No matter how hard you pray, you cannot do away with downturns. They will come. So instead of alternating between binge hiring and downturn bulimia, here’s a novel idea. Hire talented people. When things are good, don’t hire more, make do with what you have or hire sparingly if absolutely necessary. When the inevitable downturn comes around, here’s a novel idea.... instead of retrenching people, retrain them for different positions within the company. Perhaps offer employees an option to do career assessment tests to find their ideal ‘fit’, perhaps even offer them a chance to take a year off to study or train and come back. There are companies that offer this in limited quantities, like the IT firms, most of the PSU companies, heck even LIC. In the overall scheme of things, it’s a minority that leave and move to higher paying jobs, a number of extremely capable people stick around and make it to the top and go on to do great things for the company.

To my knowledge no one has patented this idea, yet it’s just a handful of companies that actually practice it. And even they have the established ‘recruitment’ systems in place. I find this whole thing totally daft. I mean doesn’t anyone realise that stupid s*** like this doesn’t engender loyalty at all? You have an entire mass of talent that doesn’t stay in the same company because they are either convinced that they will get better increments by joining the competition or that sooner or later they will find themselves retrenched.

Quite frankly in the last 4 years, I haven’t come across a single Indian who thought beyond the next 5 years. For some even 5 was a stretch. My clients abroad were a whole other story. The attrition in India baffled them so much that they began favouring foreign brokers over local brokers when dealing in India because the foreign teams were so much more stable. Don’t Indian bosses realise that they’re losing business because of this foolishness? I mean is planning for the long term, training your staff, recruiting internally, allowing internal shifts... is it so debilitating that it cannot be implemented anywhere? Heck, forget about the training for the time being, how about long term planning for a start?

Yikes

2011-08-15T14:30:00.001+05:30

So I'm sitting here at Goa Airport and there's this movie on Zee Cinema, muted ofcourse. I can't for the life of me figure out what the heck is going on but I have to admit, it's absolutely fascinating. I have no idea what the story line is. No idea who the protagonists are, can't for the life of me recognise any of the actors..... But man, the visuals I do see are so weird I honestly can't look away.
When I started watching it, there was this bare chested, long haired dude, slightly flabby but with the required beefiness. Somehow, he ended up in ice. Not on ice but in it. Don't ask. And he explodes out of the ice. So there's this beefy bloke lying prone on the floor and there are these chunks of ice strewn around him. Then this other guy, who looks like a cop of sorts, (still haven't figured out if he is or isn't) and he first acts surprised to see shirtless guy there, then shirtless guy regains conciousness and is shivering. They have words. Then possible cop guy starts kicking shirtless guy's arse and suddenly shirtless guy goes from a beefy wimp into one of those arch villian, indestructible rajnikant types. A few seconds later he morphs back. The possible cop guy also alternates between being terrified of the arch villian and beating up the wimp. Then a third dude comes in from somewhere and this totally improbable fight scene starts up.
Around this point I got bored and looked away. When I looked back there was this whole independence day thing on, with a whole bunch of cops, the requisite bunch of cute but dim kids, the constipated elder males and a woman with old lady make up and a white sari with a red border. She may have been a widow or just a highly respected epitome of womanhood, I really don't know. So now with this whole independence day celebration going on, there's this young cop going all rockstar on a santoor, some random kid spinning in slow motion and the epitome of woman hood looking fondly on. Womanhood then starts to sing and the elders start looking even more constipated and the camera pans to various pictures of Indies Gandhi and the Indian flag and then goes back to the constipated elders. I got bored again. The next time there was a tableau of one woman in a green sari, two guys in pantyhose face masks, and a 'baddie' with glasses, a black shirt and a white waist coat. Baddie is holding a machine gun and shoots another dude running towards him holding another gun. The fellow gets shot in the armpit of all things and dies. Evil guy laughs his evil laugh.
Unfair I think. You may be an extra but that doesn't mean he has to die of an armpit shot. And that too on the right side. Sheesh.....
Now they're at a hospital. Lots of people running around outside, constipated elder shoving a really geeky looking doctor around.
I give up. I have absolutely no idea what's going on. Where is the schitzofrenic arch villian? Very confusing. Oooh I just saw Nassiruddin Shah. He's in jail. Where did he come from? What's going on? This must have started out a big budget independence day blockbuster. Still not sure what they were aiming for though. I'm still as confused ad ever.

Unrest at the Bottom of the Pyramid

2011-07-10T22:42:00.002+05:30

Just the other day, I was a hapless but captive audience for a rather loquatious taxi driver. After breaking the ice, commenting on my destination and how it along with a couple other places in the vicinity were regular drop off points for all cabbies in the area, he proceeded to launch into his main theme. The Government. According to him, we are as badly off or a little worse off than we were under the British. The oppressed masses are as miserable as they were earlier, the same governments(individuals) keep coming to power and merrily looting the country. If you're in power or close to it you will have money. The industralists will support anyone in power. Babus are in the best position though. As inflation and the cost of living rise, so too do their requirements. Where Rs50 used to be sufficient, one now needs Rs500. Who suffers? Why the masses ofcourse! Taxi drivers and their passengers. He then went on to the whole Maharashtra for the Maharashtrians school of thought. Maharashtra without Mumbai is poorer than the badlands of UP. He spoke about this Police inspector that he once had as a passenger, who asked him why he didn't stay in his home town in UP and do something. Why did he have to come to Mumbai taking away from the Maharashtrian Manoos. My cabbi's reply was something along the lines of "Mumbai is not the only place in Maharashtra. Instead of stopping people from coming here and working, why don't Maharashtrian politicians spend more time developing the rest of Maharashtra giving the rest of the Maharashtrians a better life. Why are farmers in eastern Mahashtra killing themselves and why are Maharashtrians starving in the interiors of Maharashtra? Is Mumbai the only place that needs ministers, babus and laws?" That ofcourse took him to his primary issue which was the Brahmin rule. BJP or Congress, they're a bunch of Brahmins bleeding the country dry. Through the ages Brahmins didn't have to work. If you were born Brahmin, you had a license to live off everyone else's effort but you still had all the power. When we won our independence it was with educated leaders. Then Nehru and his successors (Brahmins) took over and the whole country went down. They made sure the Brahmins continued to make money doing nothing more strenuous than sitting on their collective asses, while the Kshatrias did their bit to keep them in power and keep the rest of the populace in their place. I tried pointing out that it was the same downtrodden masses that insisted on voting the same brahmins into power and that got me another volley of fluent hindi telling me that the masses were coerced into voting a certain way and those that were free, didn't vote. We were closing in on my destination, so I asked him what was the solution to all this. Their time is coming to an end, was his answer. The Brahmins may call it Kalyug, but their time is up. They have misused their position for too long and have become far too arrogant. They will fall. Just you wait and see.
This guy isn't a one-off case. Its the fourth or fifth time someone has said something like this to me after the middle east started to burn. A change will come. The masses will rise up against the corrupt government. My question is, what then? You bring down the existing government and then what? Who or what fills in the void left in the system? It's very easy to point out defects in the existing system. What are we to do about it? If not one of Sonia's puppets who then will lead the country? Will the group that controls this great economic powerhouse, this emerging behemoth, this market of a billion plus consumers... Will they choose to clean up a rotting system, or will they succomb to the lure of easy pickings and lap up what's offered, leaving the bottom of the pyramid exactly where it is? Or will we have nation wide riots like in the middle east with the country descending down an exceedingly slippery path into mayhem and anarchy? While I hope not, my taxi driver seems convinced that a war is headed towards us. And this one will not be religious. It will be between the castes.

Of Bugs and Superbugs

2011-04-07T12:42:00.004+05:30

I absolutely detest taking antibiotics. So today when I read about the WHO getting all hot and bothered that the misuse of antibiotics in humans and animals was leading to the emergence of superbugs and strains of resistant germs, I went “HAH!” Not the evil scientist “BWAHAHAHAHA!” or the snide trouble maker’s “snicker snicker” but more of a relieved, ‘you can’t hurt me any more’ with a dab of ‘up yours’ thrown for good measure kind of ‘HAH’. Let me give you a bit of background here.

When I was ye high (approximately a foot and a half in my socks) I got the runs i.e. Dysentery. Now as I have only the foggiest memory of that period in my life, I rely on third party info here. Sources being my mum and various other family members. Long story short, the family doctor nearly killed me with an overdose of antibiotics, a child specialist was then brought in and I was cured but apparently the antibiotics damaged my immunity system so badly that I stayed very vulnerable to any and every disease in the vicinity. A shift to the clean air of Goa helped, but coming back to Bombay, now Mumbai, now even more polluted, brought on all sorts of new crap.

I have been on a variety of antibiotics and even one biopsy (DO NOT get me started on that). I’ve noticed that the young guns are usually the ones who make my sicker while the old guys who accept that allopathy does not have all the answers are actually the ones who cure you. My favorites though are those old doctors with tiny clinics and compounders who give out little packets of multi-coloured tablets in different shapes and sizes and detailed instructions on when to take what. I’ve noticed they always cure me. After about five years of messing around with different doctors/quacks I have finally shortlisted one gastric surgeon, one orthopedist, one dentist and one ENT. I still need to find one skin specialist, one optometrist, one gynac and most importantly one GP.

The benefits of my gruesome experience:

Avoid Doctors with degrees from posh sounding institutes.
Avoid Doctors who use a lot of new fangled equipment. They are usually too reliant on machines rather than instinct.
Avoid Doctors who sit in well done up clinics. The posher the clinic the higher the overheads therefore the longer your treatment will take. If he has overheads to worry about, then curing you will not be cost effective. He’s going to take you for all you’ve got.
Stick with the older generation doctors with smaller, dingier clinics. They tend to cure you and send you off. They haven’t got into the habit of treating patients like ATM machines. A quick trick to identify them, when you walk into their clinics and see files piled haphazardly in corners and various knickknacks shoved into cubby holes around, you’re safe. This guy has been around for a while. If it’s a pristine clinic, with teak furnishings, polished equipment… run away!
Talk to your Doctor, if he acknowledges the impact of stress and a need for a healthier style of living, or if he just tells you to stop being a baby and get on with it, you know you have a gem. Never let him go!
And most importantly, get referrals from people who have been living in the same area for years. They usually know the best doctors because they’ve been to them over the years. Beware of the hypochondriacs though. You don’t want a doctor who encourages that.

Expecting diseases to stay put just because the medical/pharmaceutical fraternity hasn’t been able to catch up is stupid. Diseases will evolve. Popping stronger pills will only give you an ulcer. Running to a doctor will probably just make you broke and ill. So get your priorities straight and enjoy till your time comes. And in the mean while, keep a little black book of doctors. Who knows when a superbug might get you.

16,324 hours and counting...

2011-04-04T23:42:00.003+05:30

Today is an anniversary of sorts. I have finished 6 years in my current role. In that time I have developed severe acidity, gained 10 kilos, seen my salary multiply several times over and been given the title of Vice President. 6 years = 312 weeks = 1,484 days (6 dayweeks for 2 years + 5 day weeks for 4 years – 30 days holidays a year) = 16,324 hours spent working in the markets and 4,272 hours spent commuting to work and back. That’s a grand total of 20,596 hours that I have dedicated to my job (and this doesn't include the leave sacrificed).

Was it worth it? I don’t know. Unlike most, I didn’t start out as an analyst or as a trader. I started out as a saleswoman for key domestic institutions. Those institutions are still the most sought after for practically every salesperson. I’ve witnessed every circuit in the market and seen crazy crashes and crazier rallies. I’ve seen the Sensex swing 2500 points in a single trading session (and this was in 2006! The base was a lot smaller), I’ve seen the market fall 13% in a day and trading continue, I’ve seen liquidity dry up and later flood the market… sixteen thousand hours covers a lot!

Here are a few things I’ve picked up along the way;

On Markets and Investing

A mega IPO usually marks the peak of the market – Reliance Petroleum in 2006, Reliance Power in 2008 and Coal India in 2010.
A full investment banking pipeline always indicates the beginning of a buying frenzy.
Over a long period of time, trading does not make you big money, investing does. The only people who make money trading are the dedicated traders, and that too only for a limited period of time. It is the investors that make the truly astronomical amounts and the investors who survive downturns.
Markets will fall. There is no such thing as a perpetual bull run. Everything reverts to the mean. Every business has its cycle.
Takey our profits off the table. Ideally try and bring your portfolio cost down to zero.
A falling market has no support and a rising market has no resistance.
Never trust anyone forcing a tip on you. Chances are they're stuck in a position and want an exit or want company.
You will never make money on everything that you are invested in. Some will fall, some will be flat and only a small handful will rise. If all are rising, it means the market is overheating and you should exit while you still have the chance.
There is a HUGE difference between speculation and investment. Decide which one you want and stick with it. Ideally invest the majority of your money and trade with a small portion. Take trading profits off the table and invest them.
Buy at the point of maximum pessimism. Go contrarian and make a significant bet. Loosely translated it means thumb your nose at your colleagues and Udyan Mukherjee, gather all your money together and buy Buy BUY!!!!!
No matter what Warren Buffet and his minions say, the market ALWAYS knows. Playthe trend.
No matter how strong the India story, a global meltdown will wipe out all returns. Therefore diversify your investments out of the equity markets.
Never trust an emotional call. Numbers don’t lie. Cash doesn’t lie.
Behavioral Finance is possibly the most underappreciated branch of Finance. Study it.
Trends can and frequently do change overnight. Don’t fall in love with a trend, it’s not going to stay. Abandon and move on. The financial markets take the laws of survival to a whole new level.
Read. As much as you can, whenever and wherever you can. The information always helps.
Remember that whatever happens, the system will always be salvaged.

On Stocks

Governments lie, managements lie and analysts don’t have all the answers or all necessary information.
Estimatesfollow the market.
Valuations are relative. Steady earnings growth and growing order books are extremely important. Always watch the reserves.
Never average your losses unless you know something everyone else doesn't. Otherwise sell your losers and hold onto your winners. Be disciplined with your stop losses.
When picking a stock to invest in look at the debt levels, the cash flows, the dividend payment history, the capital expenditure, the return on capital employed and management quality. The party boys never make you any money.
Bewary of how much you pay.
Never buy something that has been running up for 3 consecutive days. Price graphs steeper than a 45 degree angle will reverse quickly and viciously.

On Work

A good boss and a great team are generally mutually exclusive. Get used to it.
Today’s kings are often tomorrow’s beggars. Be nice to the people around you. It’s not worth it making enemies.
Weasels always survive, except in fairy tales.
Don’t try breaking into existing cliques. It usually ends in pain. Be yourself and your clique will find you.
Reply All is dangerous. Consider the consequences before clicking it.
Always double check before sending.
Always carry a notebook into meetings, no matter how irrelevant you think the discussions are.
Take notes. Important details are often forgotten.
Make sure all your bosses know that you treat them equally. Be very aware of the political affiliations around you. Treat your colleagues and bosses like your clients.
Have a life outside the office. Stay in touch with old friends. They keep yougrounded.
Stay focused and be careful what you sacrifice.

Of Weasels and Eagles

2011-03-25T16:59:00.004+05:30

After much pain and frustration I think I have learnt the secret to success at work. I wouldn’t recommend this for anything other than work. If someone associated with my personal life acted like this, I would slap them. Hard.

There are a couple of sayings that kind of sum up what I’m getting at. “Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.” “Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable” While the former is what happens, the latter is what one should live by. Helps keep the disappointment at a minimum.

There’s a reason why ‘passionate’ is never used to describe veterans. Increased exposure to the rest of humanity isn’t pretty. As someone else put it, “Never underestimate the power of very stupid people in large groups” or in management for that matter. Perhaps it’s because I’ve never worked in a ‘fun job’ but I’ve always noticed that the ones that last in most companies are usually the weasels. Don’t get me wrong, some of them are really a lot of fun, but they still qualify for the term “weasel”. There are some who’ve elevated it to an art form. Being the enlightened few, they’ve figured out early exactly what will happen to them if they show the least sign of initiative or creativity. It’s like that arcade game with the moles and the hammer. Every time a mole pop’s it’s head up, you whack it with the hammer. In real life Pavlov’s theory would kick in but in the game the moles being the suckers for punishment that they are, keep popping up even faster. Give them a brain and the game would be over in one maybe two rounds. Self preservation is a wonderful thing.

I guess middle management's whole role is to drain the life force out of everyone under their command. From their attitude, to their procedures, to the colour of paint on their walls! A happy, motivated, creative work force might be poached by competitors, is expensive to retain and is a constant threat to senior management's jobs. But a disillusioned, de-motivated, manic-depressive work force... well, that's just perfect isn't it? Low maintainence, easy to control and sometimes it's as effective a means of destruction of competition as a biological weapon. Nuclear weapons and poisonous gasses have nothing on a depressing, demotivated, complaining colleagues. They can, and I speak from bitter experience, suck the life out of you far more effectively than anything else on this earth. Just think about it from management's perspective for a minute. Depressed and demotivated employees don't drain depratment budgets, it's the happy, high performers that do. Lower pay outs to employees means more money left over! And misery loves company, so wherever they go, it's not happiness and cheer that they're spreading! Like the demetors of Azkaban they will suck out every happy, creative thought from their colleagues wherever they go. Possibly even play such distructive politics that competing teams are thoroughly destroyed! BWAHAHAHAHA!!! What more would anyone want? You're managing well within your budget and your competitor is in shambles! You da Man!

So the secret to success, as I see it, is to keep your head down and do your work and have faith in the essential pettiness that is a large part of any and every employee. Understand here, that there is a very BIG difference between the entrepreneurs that have risked a lot to build what they have and the employees that have piggy backed on that success always ensuring that their respective rear ends have been adequately covered. Always remember, every moment is the dawn of a new error, and when mistakes have been made, someone will get blamed. Do your level best to make sure you have an air tight alibi when that happens. And last but not least, eye-contact is a double edged sword. If you don’t have the bulk to intimidate a pestilential superior, don’t risk the eye-contact. The pettier the opponent, the more likely they are to consider it a threat, or worse! In other words, keep your nose clean and stay below everyone's radar. It's tougher than it looks...

Once again, anyone attempting outside work isn't going to get you very far.

Scandals galore.....

2010-11-26T17:36:00.001+05:30

This has been a thrilling couple of months. It's like an early Christmas for the CBI. Seriously if it was a private organisation, I'd be tempted to say it was appraisal time! 4 scams in 2 months! And if the squawk box is to be believed, there are a few more to come. We're literally seeing that whole 'opening a can of worms' scenario playing out. Arrests have been made, leads are being followed and summons being sent left right and centre - with more to come. Unfortunately nothing ever concludes. In the last couple of months we've had the CWG scam, the 2G scam, the MFI scam, the Nira Radia tapes and now the Bribery and Corruption scam. Today the environment ministry jumped on the media bandwagon and have issued show cause notices to 3 listed corporates who summarily tanked! Whole different can of worms there....Now the cases go to court and we wait a couple of decades before the courts decided to

a) let the accused off on bail

b) fine them a fraction of what they took

c) throw out the case on a technicality

d) adjourn it further

Pretty standard stuff. Of course no one's really going to bother covering it after a while because something newer and shinier will be there to distract the fourth estate and its avid viewers. Maybe Pamela Anderson will come back to the Big Boss household....you never know.... Other than a passing mention on the 2G scandal, there's been a deafening silence on the MFI mess, the Nira Radia tapes and the CWG scam.

Funnily enough, in the larger scheme of things, the bribery scandal isn't as damaging as the 2G or CWG scams, and certainly no where near as shocking as the Nira Radia tapes. Everyone knows a little something-something flows back. Elemental physics when dealing with liquidity in the real world. What really cracks me up though are the amounts mentioned. Quite frankly they aren't even enough to buy a house in Mumbai! I mean seriously! Roti, kapda and makaan.... well food inflation, September, October and November rains coupled with a severe lack of storage facilities is going to make the roti (and rice) rather pricey, zooming cotton prices and a lively cotton futures market is going to make the kapda expensive and makaan....? Heck don't even get me started on that. Frankly the amounts mentioned might just help them out with the down payment. I'm not condoning it, I'm just saying that the practice of 'chai paani' has been around a lot longer than the bull market. As long as prices keep rising and pensions remain uncertain, people will do their level best to make as much money as they possibly can. Its a self preservation thing. Once you're out of a position of power the law of the jungle takes over. Best plan for that bleak timewhile you still can. We've all seen hockey and athletic stars end up in menial jobs struggling to make their next meal. India is not kind to the weak, the sick or the old. If you're not healthy and rich, you're probably better off dead.

And how could I forget my namesake in North Korea who's happily lobbing everything but the kitchen sink at the South Koreans. They in turn aren't entirely sure what to do about it. Its recession time after all, one must be practical. So you saw the immediate retaliation followed by a flurry of meetings and press conferences. With practically every potential ally struggling to pay their country's debts, they're looking quite lonely out there. Although an all out war is a worry, lets be practical about this. Who's got the cash to afford a war with a megalomaniac dictator? Not such a bright idea now, is it? One needs allies, and right now the allies are rather concerned about whether or not to pull out the old begging bowl. So now Korea has a choice. Does it give in to its baser self and return the favor with interest or does it do the 'right' thing and call for a mediator, go crying to various international agencies blah, blah, blah. Kinda hard to fight fair when your opponent has no such qualms. Oh the price of conformity.....

Good times ahead. Quite the reverse of the calm consolidation that prevailed during my last post. Such fun not knowing what the heck's gonna hit tomorrow. Adios....

The Empty Stomach Theory

2010-10-11T22:36:00.002+05:30

Today was such an awesome day... absolutely nothing interesting happened. Yesterday was somewhat similar, so was the day before that and the ones before that. We have been wallowing in peace and serenity, calm consolidating markets, low leverage and very little to seriously trouble us. Granted there are all sorts of terrifying things looming somewhere around the horizon, but we're Genext! We live for today...who cares about something as murky as European debt? It's Europe! It doens't affect India! We have a consumption story!!! Yeah right! Sound familiar? Sub-Prime wasn't an Indian problem either....

Anyhow, it got me thinking about life in general and I realised, looking back, the best examples of art, science, music etc etc were all borne out of economic despair... Recessions forced people to think and innovate and people responded by coming out with some pretty snazzy stuff! Innovate or starve. Apparently depression, panic and an empty stomach is a killer combination for a successful product... provided of course you manage to take care of that whole 'appreciated in this lifetime' bit... what's the point of living in poverty and being a posthumous multimillionaire...Life may be a gift from God but I'd like to enjoy my gains (ill gotten or otherwise) while I can thank you very much! Once I pop off, they ain't coming with me.

Now push that thought a little further. Let's look at the concept of Heaven and Hell. According to all we hear, at least the Catholic/Christian versions, Heaven is a place of peace and goodwill with angels playing their heavenly music and the Lord watching beningly over us. Hell on the other hand is hot and has the whole 'burn for all eternity' thing, fire and brimstone, purgatory, eternal torment of the soul... blah blah blah.

Now taking the 'Empty Stomach Theory' and stretching it to Heaven and Hell, I think Hell might just be a tad more interesting. Consider for a moment. Heaven is full of rewards for years of agony and struggle. But what do you do once you're there? Play the harp? Spend your days sipping milk and honey? I doubt anyone will be allowed free speech, hobbies or competitions in Heaven. Just see how much conflict they cause here on Earth! So you basically do nothing to mar/wrinkle/disturb the Heavenly atmosphere. That would be bad for business. I'm guessing religious types and gospel singers go straight there.

Now Hell on the other hand would have all the crazies from Earth. From my point of view, along with the murderers and other assorted bad types, you would also find the blasphemous comedians, rock stars, artists that scandalised the establishment, other religions that God didn't approve of... in short a large number of people. All of them in eternal suffering and torment.... According to the Empty Stomach Theory, this is the ideal recepie for creativity of no mean order! I mean financial products extrodinare, music like you've never heard, art like you've never seen, plays like you've never imagines... creativity unleashed. Sounds like an interesting place doesn't it?

Don't know about you but it definitely makes me rethink a few ''absolutes''... primarily that there might just have been a few translation errors in the early Christian versions... the errors seem to have continued through all subsequent upgrades. Chances are Heaven and God aren't as boring as the holier than thou types have painted it. I mean how often have you come across situations where the peons are way more stuck up than the CEO himself? Chances are we're spending all our time toeing the line of the minions when the big cahoona is actually quite chilled out. Hah! Funny thought! Imagine if Heaven is just one big beach party and all those puritians end up there find out they spent their entire lives condemning what was actually God's work! And if Heaven is one big party then what is Hell? Exam season! Ugh! The word still gives me the jitters. Even worse, an exam of a subject that you didn't study for and you woke up and ended up in the exam hall in your underwear! Every student's worst nightmare! Though in all honesty I have studied for the wrong exam on occasion.

So in conclusion. The Empty Stomach Theory makes life interesting. When faced with an empty bowl, think out of the bowl. If that doesn't work, turn it over and come up with a drum solo. And existing theory vis a vis entry requirements for Heaven and Hell has some holes. Just like the whole "The Earth is Flat" theory was disproves, so too will this. So live free and die in peace!

When time is NOT of the essence.....

2010-09-14T16:38:00.002+05:30

We went to God's own country for the long weekend, it being the monsoons, there was a considerable amount of precipitation of varying intensities. There is something very relaxing about Kerala. That is until you're starving and the waiters in the restaurant couldn't be bothered about serving you. You could argue that it's all about savoring the moment and so on and so forth.... But when one is hungry, one needs something other than paper thin papads drenched in oil and pink water. Yes, I kid you not! For some thoroughly unfathomable reason the water served is pink! What is with that? It doesn't taste funny but ... It's PINK!!! Somehow I don't really see hefty mundu clad, heavily mustaschio'd mallus waggling their beefy fingers at each other and drinking pink water! Well enough of that! Moral of that story.... Make sure the head waiter can see you at all times.... That or always carry your own banana leaf when hungry in Kerala... Apparently that's the green signal for the rest of the minions to start serving you.

So then we proceeded to the Taj Garden Retreat in Kumarakom. Nice place, really great staff, as usual the women have these freakeshly perfectly draped cotton saris.... I just can't get how they do it! I'd need a couple of hours and at least four saris before I could manage anything remotely close to what she achieved.

Now when in Kumarakom, do not expect high excitement and extreme sports.... You want high adventure go stand up in a paddle boat and tip the whole thing over....for extreme sports, do the same thing in a motor boat. Guaranteed adrenaline rush. Beyond that, it's the very antithesis of Mumbai and the stock market. Slow ponderous house boats, two hour long meals, gardens and waterfalls with convenient benches so can just sit around doing absolutely nothing, brilliantly colored sunsets (no sunrises though). If anyone tries to convince you to go bird watching, I recommend laughing loudly and sarcastically in said person's face. Frankly, we saw more birds, both exotic and regular in the hotel gardens than in the 'sanctuary'. In fact whatever birds we did see in said 'sanctuary' were on trees that were in the hotel garden! If however you enjoy 6 kilometer trecks at freakish hours of the morning, then by all means go. It's a nice trek and no leeches because the place has both fresh and salt water at different times in the year.... There are monkeys though.

Vembanand is their big lake, second largest in the country after Chilika in Orissa. Lots of water plants floating around, with birds hitching rides on some of the larger clumps. Needless to say that speed ain't of the least essence. Very calming and needless to say the commerce of the area pretty much relies on that water body. I worry about the impact of all those houseboats, cruises and motorboats on the lake. The discarded water and cola bottles, junk food packets and the occasional wine bottle are noticible. But all in all, it is calming. The iffy cell phone signal also helps... A lot! I wouldn't recommend taking the 'lake cruise'. It's a half hour thing with the boat going 15 minutes in one direction and then turning back. Waste of time in my opinion although when we went on it the weather wasn't the calmest and there was this one idiot zipping around the back armed with his camera. Everytime he zipped to one side, the boat listed with him. If that wasn't enough, he then decided to lean over one side...of a moving boat! In the middle of the second largest lake in the country. We didn't tip over, but had one of the crew not yanked him back, I would have happily helped him over the side. I shudder to think of the strains he'll be introducing into the human gene pool..... yikes!

Today we checked out of the hotel and into a house boat. Word of advice, when shifting from a nice comfy hotel to a houseboat, whack the toiletries. Houseboat operators don't particularly care about the bathrooms and their accessories. I guess you can't really blame them. Having a working bathroom itself should be considered a luxury... At least you don't have to aim over the side! We got ourselves booked on the Gold River Houseboat. Nice clean place, very nice crew, a horn that sounds like it was stolen off a Tata Ace, three neat bedrooms with attached bathrooms and the coziest little seating space upfront that I have ever seen..... Heaven!

Today's a nice calm day, so I am hopeful that I won't be getting seasick on this trip. The roads, by the way, are awful!

By the by, if you do decide to go for the whole houseboat experience, make sure you pay special attention to the reversing technique being used by your boatman! There's a reason why the sides of most houseboat roofs are a touch raggedy....

My goals for the weekend were to manage to enjoy a proper Kerala coconut and malai. While the hotels will give you the coconut water they studiously avoid all mention of the malai.... I want it... and i never get it. Problem is that I get car sick so stopping on the way and downing one is out of the question. My hubby may love me but I think puking all over him will push the bounds of the whole 'in sickness and in health' concept. If ur not sure of the risks don't make the attempt. Anyhoo, we got the coconuts, and attached malai... woohoo...the food that the crew cooked for us on the boat was yum! The stomach upset that followed wasn't so awesome but still... totally worth it.

As a nice relaxing break, no work, no stress.... Kumarakom totally fits the bill!

The Age of Kalyug

2010-05-12T09:57:00.004+05:30

The other day the Supreme Court ruled that narco, polygraph or brain mapping tests cannot be conducted on anyone without their consent. Lawyers and activists are overjoyed about this…. I don’t see the victims mentioned anywhere. In fact in one article a Lawyer was quoted saying that Narco tests are ‘simply unconstitutional and the Supreme Court has upheld the law.’ It seems that Chief Justice KG Balakrishnan and Justices R.V. Raveendran and J.M. Panchal described the forcible administration of these tests as an "unwarranted intrusion of the personal liberty" of a person accused of an offence. So what does that make murder, rape and assault? But we are civilized and therefore must protect the evil and allow the law of the jungle to decide the fate of the weak and the non media savvy.

It’s almost as if breaking the law is what is required for the system to take care of you. Think about it for a minute. You murder/rape/rob somebody and get caught by the cops. Now, please note, the rest of this hypothesis is based on the assumption that you or your act is high profile enough to generate sufficient media coverage, thereby drawing activists by the dozen. Petty crime will just get you slapped around. Activists aren’t attracted to events that won’t get them air time…. It just isn’t sexy enough… what in the world would they tell their Page 3 friends about? It’s such a waste of time if all your effort isn’t actively followed by thousands if not millions of people. So now assuming sufficient media coverage is available, the cops having caught you, are now under the media microscope and cannot so much as fart without some activist or the other screaming bloody murder – or in this case police brutality through excessive flatulence. So thanks to the many varied rulings of various courts that protect the accused, you are safe, well fed, mildly uncomfortable because of the ‘awful’ conditions in the jail (which is well maintained and regularly cleaned – quite an upgrade from the slums and abject poverty that most Indians live in) and as your court case will go on for years if not decades, you can maintain status quo ad infinitum. Of course there is the inconvenience of that sojourn being mentioned on your record and possibly affecting your employability, but then again the system being what it is, it probably won’t be too difficult to circumvent that as well. So now you’re in a nice settled routine and its time for the courts to give their verdict. If it goes against you, you appeal. Voila! Another decade spent in ashram like conditions. The law is absolute, while justice is relative…

If however you’ve been acquitted, well then, you’re in a bit of a quandary. If you want to stay you could just go right out and murder/rape/rob some other random character and go right back into the slammer for another decade…. Or… you could write a book about how you were wrongly incarcerated and had to suffer the ignominy of being in Jail! Missing out on the important things that signify freedom… like worrying about losing your job, struggling to keep said job, paying off a home loan, being able to afford a home, worrying about your next pay check or bonus, worrying about someone younger and better taking over your job…. Yeah…. Best seller material… stuff that the Page 3 types just lap up by the gallon. Nothing sells like misery. Even if it’s the story of a blood thirsty killer. In today’s convoluted system, its better to be unscrupulous and evil than it is to be god fearing and law abiding. Heck instead of spending thousands on a trip to the Himalayas, just bump off some well known bloke and you’re set for the next 30 years at least! The monk who sold his Ferrari, my foot! Your job, money, house and car are not going to go with you when you die, so why not embrace the ascetic life now itself?

Will reason ever prevail with the powers that be? Will the hand of God come down from the heavens and right all wrongs? Somehow I think not. Best thing to do, if you don’t plan on being a mass murderer, is to avoid being the victim. No one likes the weak, and no one protects the weak and there certainly aren’t too many activists fighting for the weak. Don’t believe me? Just go to the Vidharbha region in Maharashtra and hunt around for an activist. 200,000 farmers have taken their own lives since 1997. They were not murderers, rapists or robbers. They just couldn’t earn enough to pay off their debts. Guess no one told them that jail was probably far more comfortable than running a farm in rural Maharashtra.

A new look at evolution...

2010-05-08T22:33:00.002+05:30

I know there's this huge debate on the whole concept of evolution.... one faction convinced that we evolved from the apes, the others convinced that God created us to round off the Garden of Eden. I have a different view.... I think we were created by the bacteria as a food source. Think about it for a moment, however much we may brainwash ourselves into thinking we're at the top of the food chain, its the bacteria (and viruses) that have the last laugh. HIV or AIDS, the cold, influenza, pneumonia, TB and a whole plethora of other things that at a touch will bring us to a messly and untimely end. Here's what I think - and since I'm writing this, I'm allowed a little artistic license. After the last ice-age, the council of bacteria met and the heads of the various strains decided that enough was enough. They couldn't just stand by and watch their kind starve to death because of bad weather. No, something must be done. They needed a food source. A sustainable one, preferably something that was smooth on the palate. So they had scouts looking around. They found that animals tasted far better than plants. Fish were a little iffy. After looking around a bit they came up on the apes, and found that they matched all criteria. they reproduced, were very low maintainence and were easily manipulated. Most importantly, they had barely any immunity. Wonderful! Manna from unicellular heaven! Said one to the other "You thinking what I'm thinking?" "Sure am!" said the other. And the Human race was chosen as the primary food source for the council and their bretheren.

Now the council discussed way's and means. "Well for starters, we need to make them totally self sufficient. They need to be able to maintain themselves and reporduce." "it woudl be nice if we could get them to bump off each other occasionally, they putrefy really well.... such a special bouquet!" "What if they could bump off entire hoardes of their own" "Oooohh good idea! A banquet!" "Ah well, feed the masses if you will, I still prefer mine ala carte."

After much discussion it was decided that the human race - aka primary food source - would have the following characteristics.

1) They would be able to feed themselves

2) They would be able to reproduce, in plenty.

3) They would constantly kill each other

4) They would adapt to varying environments so that everyone could be fed. From Ice to volvanic lava, from the desert to the equator. The primary food source would inhabit every environment there was. Thus bacteria could live wherever they wanted and never worry about not being able to catch a quick snack.

The list went on. Finally operation food source was put into operation and was a resounding success. Unfortunately like every successful product, the food source became commoditised and let to a situation of surplus. And to make things worse, the humans were destroying everything around them and killing off the bacteria. This was unacceptable, who'd ever heard of an experiment turning on its creator.... its just rude! This could not be allowed...Antibiotics, Vitamin C, Penicillin.... they had to go. So the grand council of the bacteria met once again and decided they needed to do something about it. A plan was decided upon.

They decided to send in their best and attack a chosen few. These would ensure pruning of the herd. Wars, weapons, pollution etc.... simple measures that made sure the population was back under control.... but done in such a way that the humans blamed each other and not their creators.... So the humans turned against each other and the Bacteria and Viruses had a blast...

Battling My Everest!

2010-04-27T21:08:00.001+05:30

Listening to loud rock while walking/jogging can cause you to get a little carried away, in my case, totally carried away. Bear in mind that I haven’t done any sort of heavy exercising for more than a decade, barring the occasional appearance at a gym (which quite frankly is nothing compared to hockey or karate work outs). So yesterday, (last night to be precise) I decided it was about time I got some strenuous activity going on in my life. Sitting at my desk for 12 hours a day, 5 days a week and lazing the weekends away is doing terrible things to what was once, according to popular opinion, a rather svelte figure. While the overpriced building complex that I live in hasn’t yet put up the promised gymnasium, it does have a garden with a jogging track. I decided I would use that. After all I have done my fair share of running (in school) and my fair share of work outs (also in school).

So as soon as I got home I changed into sweats and sneakers, got my music out and introduced myself to said jogging track. Barring a bunch of rambunctious 5 year olds doing their thing in the play area there was no one there. I walked one round and then came Nickleback… needless to say I got carried away and broke into a run. 2 rounds of that and I swear I though I was going to die! My lungs couldn’t stretch far enough, breathing was suddenly a Herculean task and everything helping me stay upright was a-quiver… not a happy situation… I’m ashamed to say it but I felt old! When the heck did that happen? When did it get so difficult to run a couple of rounds? I walked out the quivers for about 6 or 7 rounds (with a couple of forced stops when I fell over a toddler’s stupid tricycle – why the heck can’t they take the damn things with them I will never know) and then decided to try running again, deluding myself that now since I was all warmed up I would be able to do it. HAH! So much for that…. I didn’t even survive one round before my lungs gave out and my heart started doing high jumps. My school sports days were suddenly a very, very long time ago….

Today although I am determined to attack that jogging track again, it’s a case of my spirit is willing but my body creaks in despair. If you really want to feel your age, do something stupid like that. A colleague and I were discussing starting a work out routine after work. We decided we’d go for a run on Oval maidan and get back to the office. At that time I quipped that if he collapsed (he’s a goodish bit older than I am) I wouldn’t be able to carry him back, to which he replied “You’ll just have to roll me into a taxi”. Ooooohhhh how that’s come back to bite me in the butt…

Well wish me luck… that jogging track is my Everest. I plan another attempt today. This time I think I will walk first and run later. And I’m gonna be toning down the rock… hopefully my husband will be able to scrape me off the track if I collapse – rolling down the steps will leave a mark I think. Must check for wheel chair ramp!

International Politics in the 22nd century

2010-04-22T12:14:00.002+05:30

Impressions are so important in International politics… Russia is the Bear, India is the Elephant and America the Bald Eagle…. Everyone selects their representative fauna for strength, power, agility etc… no one seems to go for endurance or just plain old survival. If that was the case the cockroach ought to be representing some country…. After all, they’ve been around almost 300 million years and are the ones most likely to survive a nuclear holocaust, not so the elephant, bear or eagle. All those will curl up and start to putrefy just like the dinosaurs.

In fact, given the current ‘Global Crisis’ and economic whachumaycallit I have a few suggestions regarding animal characteristics that countries could use.

Agility – Earthworm – chop of its head and it can still crawl up your pants.
Adaptability and speed – Mosquito – centuries of innovation and invention and we still can’t get rid of the damn thing.
Survival – Fly – need I say more? They can eat anything and thrive in the worst of conditions. Given the food price inflation that we’re struggling under, I think this one is worth considering.
High elevation adaptability – Mountain Goat - they are perfectly happy prancing around 15,000 feet high and don’t feel in the least bit ill.
Survival in extreme cold – Polar bears or Emperor Penguin– Just in case the next ice age is right around the corner… you’d best be prepared
Desert Survival – Camel – hey, fresh water is running out… fast… the camel might just teach us a few useful lessons. These guys can go a whole week without drinking water… don’t even want to think about the bad breath!
Survival – Rat – not quite like the cockroach but definitely as difficult to get rid off…. These guys are immune to practically anything and breed like… well like rats! Devastate the population and its back to normal in a couple of months.
Survival in any conditions – the Giant Tube worm - They can survive thousands of feet below water, in toxic waste, in freezing water and even in boiling water. Given the global warming and changing climate conditions…. This is useful stuff.
Radiation survival – Water Bear – these microscopic guys can survive 1000 times more radiation than any other animals including humans. They can survive temperatures as low as -272°C and as high as 151°C. They can survive over decade without water. They can even survive in vacuum of space for as long as 10 days. (I’d like to meet the scientists who were sooo vela in life that they actually conducted these tests to come up with this data.)

So NOT going down without a fight!

2010-03-14T22:36:00.001+05:30

I got a bunch of comments saying that the crap we go through is part and parcel of life in the financial services space.... my question is "Why?" Why in God's name is a rotten time in the office considered the norm and a happy work environment something to be envied. Think about it for a moment. We spend at least 10 hours or more of our work day at work or travelling to work. Add in another 6 to 8 hours for sleep and your left with a bare 6 hours to yourself.....

At this rate, when I die and my life flashes before my eyes, I'm going to be stuck looking at a bunch of stock prices if not reliving crappy deals and cranky bosses or worse - clients! I want to see something interesting when my life flashes before my eyes.... my time here ought to have some meaning.... I'm not talking about the 'Monk who sold his Ferrrari' type of interesting, I'm not even being philosophical here. I just want something entertaining to watch in those final minutes. Lets face a few facts here:

1.Life is temporary. Death is absolute. You can choose to call it a journey or a gift or whatever the heck you want to call it, but the fact remains that one fine day we all turn to compost.

2. Although life expectancy is increasing, I'm not seeing that many happy and healthy 80-year olds. Alzheimers, diabetes, cholostrol and a host of other diseases are all waiting in the wings ready to swoop in and make life post 40 perfectly rotten. So you live till 80, but you're miserable post 40, your medical bills are astronomical, you spend a goodish bit of your life bouncing from one type of treatment to another, all of this while you are no longer at your peak earning capacity. Bankruptcy is not something I want to deal with when I'm 80.

3. The current social system that we have created ensures that all through childhood we're spending most of our time studying stuff that we basically never use is later life. We slog for all we're worth to get into the best colleges, then slog to get to the top there beasue that will help us get into the best B-Schools, then we slog it out there too so that we get the requisite grades to get the best jobs, and then we start working and continue slogging there as well. Only to discover that all the hard work we put in getting there matters naught because some new qualification has become fashionable and simply must be done else you risk making yourself unemployable. (by the way, none of this is apparently enough to prevent the spectacular corporate blow ups that keep occuring every few months.)

So lets look at an average lifespan:

0 - 1 - arguably the best year of ones life. Eat, poop, sleep and an occasional gaagaagoogoo and a giggle is all that's expected. Unless you get those hyper parents who expect to life vicariously through their childrens lives and try to get their kids to start talking before they can even walk. Frankly, this is as good as it gets.

1-3 - this is a transition time preparing you for the big bad world involving potty training, learning to talk and walk and - depending on the fanatisism of the respective parents - other assorted skills.

3-15 - school! evil, underpaid, demotivated, uninspired teachers (I however was rather fortunate to get some really creative teachers whose edicts have remained with me till this day.), bullies, shallow 'friends', dating trouble, curfews, parental issues (heck those were nasty!) and all the other related trials and tribulations of growing up. You're never old enough to be allowed to make your own decisions but you are old enough to be held responsible for a plethora of things (whether or not they are your fault, I might add!) Not that there aren't a whole bunch of good times as well. Some of my fondest memories are from my school days.

15 - 21 - College. Getting in and staying in. Finally getting out from under your parent's thumb's and being able to try out whatever the heck you want to (as long as your grades don't suffer), money is always short but you come up with novel ways of countering that technicality. Fortunately all of us were in the same boat in that aspect. then comes the decision of what to do with your life.... study some more or start working.

21 - 23 - at this stage you are either a lowly intern getting stomped on by all and sundry or you've gotten into a post graduate programme and are dazedly wondering what hit you. Well that too like all else passes.

24 - 30 - you work like a dog to get ahead in the 'business'. you get stressed, cynical, possibly married with a couple of kids (occasionally pressured into it by parents who have their own opinion of what you need which is often diametrically opposite your own opinion), antacids become a part of your staple diet as does carpel tunnel syndrome, excess fat (often known as 'prosperity') and a host of other 'lifestyle' diseases. You have money but are too tired and stressed to enjoy it. Your cell phone and blackberry tend to become extensions of your arms and waking up in the middle of the night in a blind panic for some reason or the other becomes normal.

Carry on like this and post 40 your life is effectively over. Every company wants younger and more aggressive employees, in the mean time you've screwed up your body (which unlike milk teeth, does not get replaced) so now you are more and more dependent on a host of doctors (who by the way tend to treat each new patient as a cross between a new opportunity for exotic medical research and an ATM.)

So, instead of letting this crap get to us, why don't we (pre-40 year olds) sit up and do something about this. Its our lives after all. I mean, I've heard a story about a dealer developing chest pains while executing a deal and his desk head refused point blank to let him leave and go to a hospital until the deal was done! Frankly looking at most of the bosses around, I'm inclined to believe that story.

My point here is - why should I allow this to be done to me, why should any of us lie back and take it? Don't know about you but I plan to start making a difference. If someone's trying to pass off their work or frustrations on me, I'm just going to give it right back to them. To hell with the politics. Its my life and my flash back that needs to be filled in. I also plan to do something interesting every weekend at least. I also think I ought to make time for some sort of violent sport. I feel that would be extremely satisfying. I see myself taking up boxing....or maybe drumming. Hitting things is fun. Well that's my plan.... granted its a work in progress but at least my flash back is going to be entertaining. Wish me luck!

Moments of madness.....

2010-02-16T23:38:00.002+05:30

Today was wierd. It started off brilliantly and ended little short of a disaster. On the way back while feeling particularly ineffectual and useless not to mention like a total failure, I had this moment of blinding clarity. An epifany even! As a broker one cannot live life in terms of years, months or even days. Nay, if one wishes to retain any modicum of sanity over the longer term one must live by the minute. We brokers epitomise the whole 'Living in the moment' concept. Think about it for a moment. Take today for instance. I was up at 7am, groggy as hell, eyes pink and gritty - a miserable bunch of minutes. Then we got into the car and drove to the station - very little traffic and good music. I caught a not particularly crowded train and got a place to sit by Dadar station - a good bunch of minutes. At Churchgate the first cab I caught agreed to take me to my office - one really good and freakishly rare minute. We had a normal start to the day, then one of my clients gave us a huge deal (brilliant moment) I got a couple of meetings fixed up for the coming days and all was well with the world. All in all a few rather good hours with some minutes of pure joy sprinkled in between. In the evening we all had a good chat, things started winding down - noting fabulous but nothing miserable either. Then towards the end just before quitting time, one meeting got cancelled, three more rejected, a client came back with really negative feedback and to top it all off I was informed that our competition managed to arrange a dinner meeting with a HUGE client that I had unsuccessfully been trying to crack for months. Trust me that was one of the most rotten hour's of my young life. I seriously considered chucking it all up and taking up teaching in Kindergarten! I was that miserable... Still am actually. Although there is a logical part of me that's saying, "Come on, stop beating yourself up, your day was good, its just the fag end that was bad." there still is a part of me that's saying "You've failed! He did it, you can't."

Now, all of the good stuff that happened throughout the day has been overshadowed by a handful of incidents that through sheer bad luck didn't get dispursed over a healthy period but hit all at once. Therefore I say, live in the moment! Frankly I should have taken the time out to enjoy the first part of the day to the fullest, perhaps then I wouldn't be feeling so rotten now.

To think that I actually wanted a high flying job in finance... what the heck was I thinking? Obvioulsy I too have some seriously delusional moments.... From now on I plan to enjoy the moments as they happen....Perhaps I shall retire early and write a book.

P.S. as I write this, I'm smacking my chops over the absolutely fabulous dinner my long suffering hubby put together for me... enjoying the minute to the fullest!!!! If he chose to throw his lot in with a neurotic, over stressed ,workaholic of a woman... well who am I to complain?

The K9 Management Team

2009-11-13T13:37:00.000+05:30

http://www.lemontreehotels.com/about-us/lemontree-hotel-management-team-canine.aspx

2009-11-10T21:55:00.002+05:30

Today it rained... So since gambolling around in pouring always looks like sooooo much fun (at least in the non- horror movies) I walked in the rain. Definitely not one of my brightest ideas. It was aaall good till the effects of soaked clothes and a November chill led to the inevitable. Singing and dancing in the rain my foot! More like shivering in the rain and then the train. Oh dear Lord that train! The one day when I would welcome crowds of heat emitting, wind blocking women, I get an empty compartment. I totally get why so many animals and birds hate the water. Air and water may be essential elements but combined they can be perfectly awful. So here I am, soaked to the skin, (thank goodness I didn't wear white today), sitting in a draughty compartment slowly turning into a popsicle. And I'm not the only one. The girl in front of me is just as water logged. We took one look at each other and just burst out laughing. Make up, hair do's, clothes... All ruined by a freak cyclone in the Arabian Sea. So much effort washed away. Stupid cyclone in the Arabian Sea! Now for an hour long ride to my stop before I can mercifully get into warm dry clothes.
I think priests should really reconsider the whole burn in purgatory thing. Right now the fires of Hell seem positively welcome! Wet clothes in a draughty fast train...for an hour. Now that's suffering for you. Fire and nice warm heat? HAH! Bring it on!

Deadendaright!

2009-11-06T10:35:00.000+05:30

I recently visited my Brother-in-law and his wife in Bangalore. Now I've heard of the infamous 'Bangalore Traffic' and quite frankly I confess I used to think that it was exaggerated. Of course in my defense, in the recent past I haven't spent more than a weekend in the city at a time. This time however we decided to drive around in our own vehicle. The experience was... enlightening. I have come to the conclusion that Bangalore drivers consider driving on any asphalt surface to be a form of Extreme Tetris. Any and every gap MUST be filled. Only then are you eligible for bonus points. I'm still a little clueless as to the grand prize but I am sure that the scoring system is brisk and unforgiving. An aerial view of Bangalore's roads would, I am sure, make any efficiency expert proud. Not one square foot of asphalt is left untenanted by a vehicle. Even trucks and buses are avid competitors. I imagine parents telling their kids, "If you leave a gap in the road you will go straight to hell! Honk as much as possible, refuse to signal and never make the mistake of staying in one lane." Chaos Theory has nothing on this.
Another thing that I noticed is that size doesn't matter in the least. Even a miserable little motorbike can take pangas with a car, bus or truck. And amazingly the motorcyclist will, after executing his move in this game of extreme tetris, give the oncoming driver a dirty look like its that guys fault. You have to admire the sense of security with which these motorists zip around the place. I mean, I for one would be a gibbering wreck within a few minutes of executing hair trigger moves of that caliber. Of course I don't have any faith whatsoever in the skills of the on coming driver. I realize that is perhaps where I err.
The title of this post comes from our experience of driving into Mysore to check out the Mysore Palace and the Philomena Church. Apparently all roads in Mysore have deadendas. Note that a deadenda often refers to a fork in the road or a T-Junction. A standard statement from a helpful local to a slightly frazzled and thoroughly lost outsider would be "Aah Mysore Palace? Deadendaright." followed by a satisfied look that most well meaning Samaritans wear after doing their thing. It takes a little while to figure it out but we got there in the end, mainly because my Brother-in-law was reasonably familiar with the local lingo.
Word to the wise, if you are planning to grab breakfast on the way to Mysore, do it in Bangalore itself. Whatever you do, the roadside idli-wadas are solely for the adventurous(with the chutney in packets that should never be opened in a moving car).
No matter what the tanga wallas and touts tell you, the entrance to the Mysore Palace is through the South Gate, parking costs Rs. 10 in the parking lot not Rs. 40 and the Palace is NOT closed till 2:30pm. Also if you're going to buy a hat at the stalls outside the entrance, go to the third vendor and bring the price down to Rs. 50. He will start at Rs. 150.Don't be fooled.
If you want something to munch on, there is an amla seller with the most awesome salt and chilli masala mix for his amblas. Word to the wise, there are two ways of tackling this. One being to munch up as much as possible of the amlas when everything is dry. Second, and far more interesting, let the amlas stay in the masala mixture for a few hours, longer the better. The water seeps out creating a most potent mixture that defies description. One sip of that mixture will clear your head, bowels and whatever else needs clearing. After your eyeballs have returned to their sockets that is. Idli's too can be dipped in this mixture and eaten... rather an interesting combination. The memories tend to return with amazing clarity the next morning. But then again, what adventure comes sans the side effects.
Guntur Chicken is another experience that simply must be had. And don't waste your time diluting it with anything. This should be had unadulterated. Preferably chased with the amhbla and masala mix. All your happiest memories flash before your teary eyes. you might re-think your position the next morning but I say, live with no regrets. Deadendaright!

2009-06-07T23:11:00.000+05:30

I love the old Tom and Jerry cartoons. All this time I thought that Fred Quimby was responsible for the humor and the success of the series. Compared to the junk that's released these day's in the same name, those were products of real talent. The care that was given to the background scenery,individual expresions, the attention to detail when Tom is sneaking up on Jerry and when Jerry decides enough is enough and turns the tables on Tom.... All this while I thought that was all because of Fred Quimby! I mean that is the name that's still flashed in the credits for each of those short films. Now I find out that Fred Quimby had no talent and (shocker of shockers) no sense of humor. In fact he was the pointy haired boss who brought in budget cuts and refused to sanction expenses. Apparently the versions that I love are the ones that were done by William Hannah and Joseph Barbera. Chuck Jones wasn't all that great and Gene Deitch was simply awful. To think that there just is no one capable of replicating or out-doing what Hanna Barbera did is just depressing. Why is it that in today's day and age with our advanced technology and high finance, we still don't have anyone with a halfway decent sense of humor? Instead we come out with things like Southpark and the Simpsons. Remember the Cat Concerto? Beautiful. When will someone start coming up with something like that....

2009-04-06T20:17:00.000+05:30

I hate dentists... or rather... I hate GOING to the dentist. There's never any good news and always a large amount of pain. There was this one delusional moment when I went to a dentist for a check up - when there was nothing wrong. Nothing hurt, nothing cracked, I just went. I plead temporary insanity for that moment of masochism. Although my teeth were fine he decided i needed a cleaning. The guy knocked off so much that my teeth (which were at that point of time giving me no trouble at all) became so sensitive that i couldn't even drink water let alone allow toothpaste to touch my teeth without suffering excrutiating agony. During the cleaning I kept telling him there was a problem but he insisted i was being over dramatic. After it was done and I told him my teeth were sensitive, he rubbished it and said it was just "Scaling" and was perfectly normal and would go away on its own. Two days later i was back and this time he had the temerity to say "Your enamel has worn out and the dentine is exposed. I wonder how I missed that." I sat there in shocked silence. I had to have three additional (extremely painfull) fillings that involved him pulling the gum away and filling in the surface of the tooth covering the dentine... so now even more pain and I had to pay for it.
Finally one fine day another tooth that had been filled in earlier cracked. Surprise, surprise my dentist was away and could not give me an appointment.... Tooth with a crack right down it. So i had to run around hunting for a new dentist. Found another one. He's great, a lot less painfull and really good at what he does. The latest encounter though has resulted in a large amount of pain. The throbbing, brain numbing type of pain. Well it involved extracting a wisdom tooth that was growing out of my jaw bone and whose roots were curved. He managed to remove it but the tooth crushed while it was being yanked out and so had to be levered out resulting in some damage to my cheek and lip. Pain, pain, pain. Why the heck are things so difficult. Why do encounters with dentists (who in real life might be rather nice folks) always have to be so painfull. The sound of the drill itself is enough to make my teeth hurt, even when its being used on someone else. So what's the solution, do i yank out all my teeth and replace them with dentures or do i just get used to pain and then maybe i wouldn't hate it so much....

up and down and down and down

2008-10-19T15:48:00.000+05:30

Red has always my favourite color. Today that's not such a happening colour. It's basically looking like the bottom's falling out of the market. As you can imagine red certainly is the color of the day.... as it was yesterday and the day before.....
Now to all intents and purposes red is the color of passion, love, success (red ferraris), the color of 'HOT' (witness Lady in Red).... so.... who was the schmuck that came up with the bright idea of red being the color of falling prices.... the color of bad news.... the color of "What the heck happened to all my investments?"... "Where's my money???" "not really the iconic "Show me da money!" but more of I saw, I invested, I lost it all.
I'd say right now that Red is perhaps one of the most misunderstood colours going. Like Pigs. Pigs don't sweat, for the simple reason that they have no sweat glands. So the whole phrase "sweating like a pig" is just base slander. Wonder how pigs feel about that. Perhaps they have some rude sayings about us. Not that they'd be off by much of a margin.
Let's consider for a moment.... Humans fought their way right to the top of the food chain... now that was a feat.... a large portion of them then turned vegetarian... developed an unshakable and often violent belief in the supernatural ... then went on to wage some of the bloodiest battles over ideology... then the novelty of killing each other wore off some and they decided ok why not do something else.... so we had these huge technological advances that had this unfortunate side effect of polluting (i.e. making absolutely unusable) the scarce resources on this planet. In retrospect, not such a bright idea, but no one's going to admit that. The latest example of Human Greatness will in all probability drive the entire globe into a decade long deflationary cycle, or a depression. History shows that in most times of economic upheaveal countries have waged war on each other. Hyperinflation was the magic wand that propelled Hitler to the position of power that ultimately culminated in World War II. The Human Race is basically like a herd of sheep. Apparently capable of functioning independent of the whole but actually following what the strongest in the herd do. We started out with tribes, went on to kingdoms, then on to countries, then there was the whole capitalism versus communism and democracy versus dictatorship. Remember when all and sundry was so convinced that the world was flat that anyone disagreeing was considered a witch and dealt with accordingly. Brilliant race aren't we? We created the Nuclear bomb without realising that it can kill the entire planet too.... News Flash... this race doesn't have anywhere else to go. Makes you wonder whether the dinasours ever tried stunts like this. Also makes me wonder whether we're actually at the top of the foodchain or whether the rest of the food chain's just biding its time.... laughing at the new kids on the block that are just convinced that they know better.... In the larger scheme of things cockroaches and alligators have been around much longer than we have. Think its possible that the cockroaches are gonna be having the last laugh? after all in the event of a nuclear holoucast the cockroaches will survive. not so with the humans.... which is kinda funny because after all that effort we'll basically be handing the first position on the food chain to the roaches. Ofcourse we wont' think of it that way. We will have honourable and strong reasons for doing that. Everything including creating and using weapons of mass destruction (whose after effects we are pretty much clueless about) are done withthe best and the strongest of reasons. We're just protecting our turf. Protecting our way of life.... be it American, Islamic, Hindu, Christian, Chinese or Russian.
I wonder when our priorities changed from improving our lot to assuaging our ego's. Let's look at our own news papers. A law on Gay rights, marriage and the act of homosexual intercourse gets far more air time and column space than farmer suicides or the troubles that 70% of our population is faced with. What Sanjay Dutt eats in prison after beind convicted for taking an endangered animal's life is more important that the difficulties faced by everyone who's not a celebrity.
Perhaps our time has come and gone... the Age of Kaliyug, Armageddon.... every religion speaks of it. And yet all we worry about is what the latest celebrities are wearing. Wearing the same pair of shoes is matter enough for a headline in a national paper.... Where exactly are our priorities?

2008-09-14T00:56:00.000+05:30

Rude songs are what I like best.... Those with rhythm are good too... But the rude ones can really brighten up a particularly rotten day....
Thought I'd share this one. It's not exactly rude but it does hit the spot...
'When I die don't bury me at all,
Just pickle my bones in alcohol;
Put a bottle o' booze at my head and feet
And then I know that I will keep.'
Imagine you're doing a Pavarotti when attempting this...very full throated....
I like the type of songs that can be belted out....sit back, relax and let fly... This isn't the sort of stuff that needs a screwed up expression and a whiney voice whining on about unrequited love or how life's been so cruel...
Maan wake up and smell the smog. This ain't no fairy tale. Boy bands are for people that don't have to fend for themselves. Work pressures need the R's, Rock and Rugby songs.... don't believe me? Try it. Sit down and blast out something that you can sing along with and let fly. Then tell me how you feel... pick simple manageable tunes.... the point here is relaxation not technique. Infact try listening to something like rockstar or start making a study of Rugby Songs....personally i strongly recommend a stint in a British Pub during football season. Now that's how you have a really good time.

The Dilbert Life

2008-07-29T11:11:00.000+05:30

In today's high pressure world it's really very easy to lose yourself. To just stop looking at the big picture and lose yourself in the crowd. Quite often this leads to one being stuck in an unwanted and unintended situation with no exit option. Sticking to your guns is no walk in the park. You will have your bosses doing their level best to mould you into what they want, paranoid colleagues doing their level best to convince you that your company is cheating you and peers in other departments tell you that you don't have a chance unless you do xyz or become ruthless, because that's how the rest of the team is. I'm so tired of hearing "There's no 'I' in TEAM." Well that does not mean you make a team with a bunch of clones. Diversity and Variety is a good thing. Encourage it, develop it.

You may start out with your ideals and your plans intact, your aim may be rather different from everyone else, your requirements may be totally different. But somehow, somewhere, that gets lost in the clutter and you find yourself doing and becoming what you were determined you would never be. Think about it. How many of us planned to become ruthless, money grabbing, paranoid dimwits when we first started out. Very, very few. We start out thinking "OK. I can deal with this, I will not make the same mistakes everyone else is, I will not let this job get to me. I am strong, I can take the stress, I will rise up the ranks on merit. I love this company, I don't plan on shifting. I will work my way up.. etc etc." Yeah right. Two years on and you've shifted your job, your unhappy about your salary (which by the way is substantially higher than it was when you joined), you suck up to your boss with the rest of the rats, you put in overtime for no real reason and you take out all of your work frustration on the people in your immediate vicinity. You no longer laugh at Dilbert and his pointy headed boss, you empathise with him. God help you if your boss takes notes from him. You cease all contact with friends outside your job becasue you don't have the time. Your life is divided between the commute and your deadlines. You were late for your wedding but you wouldn't dream of being late for work.

Step back and take stock of your priorities. You can sacrifice your present for a potentially great future, but what if some dimwit in a vehicle mows you over before you enjoy that future? Seriously what's the point of this work ethic. Give up your life, your every waking hour to a job who's ultimate aim is to help you earn a salary to pay your bills. Seriously, when did our jobs become our lives. It's utterly stupid, and the bosses that perpetrate this ought to be shoved of the nearest cliff. Life is so much more than the next paycheck. Start living it. To hell with the commute and the idiot that's giving you a hard time right now. Nothing lasts forever. Including you.

2008-06-20T23:43:00.000+05:30

I thought this rather aptly represented the stock brokers and the market...

2008-06-20T23:38:00.000+05:30

This one just cracked me up....

Back in Black

2008-05-16T21:08:00.000+05:30

Somehow listening to loud, rude, rock always cheers me up.... For the uninitiated, Back in Black is a track by AC/DC. They also came up with Big Balls, Big Gun, Shook Me All Night Long, Hell's Bells and TNT... all awesome tracks, guaranteed to make you forget your troubles and grin at the cheeky lyrics. I would recommend listening to live rock shows rather than the studio reorded stuff, it has a lot more buzz. Listening to a guy with a scratchy voice yelling his head off with electric guitars and drums in the background, is just what's needed to snap you out of that comatose state brought on by work. A lot of people I meet can't understand why i would prefer quietly sitting in a corner immersed in my own rock rather than go to a pub, get drunk, pretend to enjoy cheap jokes and listen to some idiot whining about why his girl left him or worse listening to techno... i mean seriously, where is the fun in techno? Its just noise! Where's the beat? Where's the personality? You never get frenzied fans flinging various items of netherwear at a techno concert. Give me a good rock show any day! I'm sure that if it wasn't for Rock and Rock Shows, sales of Women's Lingerie would drop to a fraction of what they are right now.
Listen to one of AC/DC's shows. Trust me you will imagine yourself strutting your stuff across that stage belting out "Coz I'm T-N-T, I'm Dynamite, T-N-T, and i'll win the fight. T-N-T, I'm a power load, T-N-T, Watch me explode..."
It's a great feeling.
Rock is an acquired taste. I have my mother to thank for initiating me into Deep Purple with Hush and Smoke on the Water. And later my husband for initiating me into the wonders of Iron Maiden with their Phantom of the Opera. GnR, Aerosmith, Dep Leppard, AC/DC, Nickleback, Bon Jovi, Iron Maiden, Deep Purple, Ugly Kid Joe, Whitesnake, Creed, Evanescence, The Rasmus... the list goes on... Rock Stars quite unlike Pop Stars, are always hot. Is it the tattoos? The Biceps? The bald Heads? The black leather? The Chin? The Booty? Despite the age of anorexia and dimwit blonde, Rockers managed to retain their animal magnetism. I mean seriously, take away the guitar and band and some of the God's of Rock could be described as downright ugly. So what do the groupies and the women and the media chase after? Rock my dear... Rock! That forbidden sound that wakes you up like nothing else can. That destroys your inhibitions. Its like a drug. It reaches into you, past all the acquired crap and pulls out something you never knew was there.
I've noticed that the best rock comes out when times are bad. I'm not talking about unrequited love and the usual shoulda woulda coulda's, I'm talking about post war, economic depression, recession, social upheaval...That's when the best of music and art is created. When the going gets tough, the diamonds come out. That's when the Gods of Rock and their Anthems are created. Wake up and get out those Blacks....It's time for the Rock and Roll Burn.

The mind of a Trader

2008-04-28T21:08:00.000+05:30

The mind of a trader is a wonderful thing. When it comes to analysing information, sifting out what's important, what is relevant, analysing its effect and putting a price on the whole thing, a trader's mind could rival the most advanced supercomputer. But when it comes to remembering what happened in the past, the mistakes that led to previous crashes, heck forget about previous crashes even the inflation numbers that were declared 2 weeks back, the trader's memory could rival an industrial sized sieve. Its just wonderful how events in the financial markets keep repeating themselves. It's like watching re-makes of some old comedy or horror flick, I'm not quite sure which.
Just look around you. Forget the US markets, those are like a constant circus. If the Fed Chairman so much as grimaces on a burp, the markets will take this as a hawkish stance and will accordingly crash. The Asian Markets are like Russian Roulette, while the globe is reeling under the credit crunch, spiking inflation, a global slowdown, the Shanghai market will be little over 9% up in a single trading session. As obelix would say, "These Traders are crazy". A trader's mind is like the most advanced supercomputer with a 64 MB memory card.
I wonder what would happen if people stopped looking at what happened yesterday and today and started looking at what happened over the year. What would happen if traders started thinking objectively. If they stopped flying off the hook at the smallest of issues.... well, for starters we wouldn't have crossed 20k. That's because as soon as we hit 18500 the objective ones would be booking their profits and the markets would meander along, everyone would still be making money.
Aah Nirvana. Where the oft used maxim "Buy on rumor, sell on News" would have no scope. Where news items would not be discounted three hours before they were announced. Where stocks would not trade at 50 times their expected earnings two years hence. Where elusive land values were not factored in 5 years before the first foundation hole is dug.
But of course where would the fun be in that? That would be so staid. Heck the markets would be as interesting as watching moss grow.
Nah, the trader and his defective memory card and the violent swings of the market are what makes this whole job so interesting. The high you get knowing your portfolio is zipping along to the skies is like none other. And when the trend reverses and you realise you weren't quick enough to get out, the shocked stupor you find yourself in could rival any and every hangover. Surviving this market is like a right of passage. Everyone should go through it. Its the ultimate game of chicken. The only place where you can lose not just your returns but all of your life saving... commonly known as losing your pants - your shirt being the returns and that's long gone. The Stock Markets are the ultimate adrenaline junkie haven. Extreme sports has nothing on a lower circuit. Move over kids - The Traders are here.

Die Bart!!! Die!!!

2008-04-10T16:32:00.000+05:30

Ever wonder how the best laid plans can go so horribly wrong? No matter what you do, salvaging yourr failing plans is like trying to stop the Niagra with your bare hands. It ain't happening! You can do your best and then some, and it still won't be enough. Why is it always so complicated? Just for a moment coonsider what life would be like, if what you got out was in proportion to what you put in. More effort would mean more rewards and vice versa. Kissing a boss's ass would get you no where. That would also mean that the boss would not stay the boss unless he actually did some work... which would mean that most of today's bosses would be redundant and either demoted (what a beautiful thought) or retired. They would necessarily have to reform their way of working and actually start doing something worthwhile rather than harassing their employees and encouraging the ass kissers.
But such is not the case (highly unfortunate). Slaves, or contract labour as it is known today, must try by fair means or foul (the latter is more predominant) to get their grubby paws on as big a slice of the bonus pie as possible. Somehow actual work doesn't translate into rewards anymore. Its like doing an MBA. At one point in time it meant something. Today its just another degree that's necassary. Anyone remember the days when being a graduate meant something?
what is the point of all this misery? We struggle and struggle and then struggle some more, sacrificinig health, family, friends, personality, hobbies... (you name it and it will be sacrificed) and for what? the rising inflation makes sure we don't manage to save enough for our old age, the money is never enough, the stress is always too much, when there's money there's no peace (not because of the money but because of the people giving itt to you) So I say again.... What is the point of all this? Honestly! WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE SOONER OR LATER... that's the one truth in all of our lives. so why are we working so that we can be miserable and ill and finally dead! Doesn't make too much sense. And I used to think ants and bees led a humdrum existence constantly carrying heavy loads or making honey, working for the greater good until they finally died (or got squished or eaten). Guess we humans aren't so intelligent afterall! Other than an opposible thumb there's precious little to set us apart from the rest of the animal kingdom.

2008-03-21T23:48:00.000+05:30

The balance of life

2008-03-21T23:09:00.000+05:30

One fine day while faffing around after college, a bunch of my friends and i decided that we needed to get a little intellectual. the result of that was two theories of life. the first was the Ice cream theory. it basically said that no matter how rotten your day ice cream would always make you feel better. then came my theory on the balance of life. it started out as a joke but after a bit i realised there was quite a bit of truth in it. just pass your day under review. your started bright and early and caught your train only to find that the cabbies were on strike and u ended up reaching the office breathless, grumpy and irritated. so much for a great start to the day. no matter what good happens something bad will counterbalance it. fortunately it works both ways and something bad is generally counterbalanced by something good. just goes to show.... a lot of us take physics for granted in school.... this stuff is rather usefull later on... it may take a little stretching of the old brain but surprisingly applicable none the less.
so the question now is... who's more dangerous, murphy or newton?

2008-02-28T10:48:00.000+05:30

Whoever said a picture is worth a thousand words definitely knew what they were talking about.... this one is from Time Magazine....

Bargaining away our growth.

2008-02-08T10:56:00.000+05:30

I have a confession to make. I cannot bargain. When I do bargain I get it down by a ridiculously low sum and then don’t know whether to feel elated at managing to get the price a couple of notches down or irritated that I could have gotten it for less. Not a good feeling… quite ruins the whole therapeutic effect of shopping. So to escape the necessity of bargaining I tend to frequent the larger fixed price stores and end up paying more.
The whole bargaining thing just freaks me out. I mean you can go through the entire shopping experience convinced that each and every seller is out to cheat you and bargain every where you go…. To me getting a kilo of grapes down from Rs. 40 a kilo to Rs. 35 a kilo or 30 a kilo is just not worth the effort… I mean it’s 10 bucks…. Less than the price of a coconut. Seriously…. Is it worth the trouble? You may disagree with me but I don’t think its worth the trouble. If I get it down the shop keeper is upset, if I don’t then I am upset. What’s the point? Is 10 bucks going to make that much of a difference to my life’s savings? Not really. The 13 hours a day that I spend commuting and working are stressful enough without me adding to it by bargaining with every shopkeeper I meet. However bargaining when ur with someone who knows how to go about it is quite a lot of fun. U get all the benefits of a much cheaper price and someone else takes all the stress…. Win win situation all around, especially if the person doing the bargaining actually enjoys doing that.
I am a believer in the beneficial aspects of competition and economic cycles. Prices always find their own levels. Bargaining is bringing the price to an artificial level. First you bargain, then the seller knows that you will bargain, so his starting price instead of a 20% margin gets a 50% margin so that even after you bring it down he still makes his money. This in turn makes it necessary for everyone to bargain else prices juse keep rising and inflation goes out of control. Mr. Reddy won't be happy about that and we won't be happy with the increasin interest rates that he will punish us with for having unwittingly pushed up prices. Eliminating bargaining would stop all that (in a somewhat perfect non-cartelized competitive market).
Moreover, my money (that 20% margin that I didn’t bargain down) will go into the shopkeepers pocket, thus adding to his spending capability which he would in turn spend on goods and services that would in turn generate more demand and more supply and thus ultimately help the economy grow as the incomes at the lower levels is boosted.
Pretty neat huh? So next time you bargain remember that you could possibly be slowing down the economy and increasing inflation! In fact you may jsut be the reason why we have such high interest rates! So instead of shooting yourself (and the rest of us) in the foot, why don’t you just let the guy take a reasonable margin and buy into the equity markets… you know his money is going to go back into the system.

Who's winning? The Bulls or the Bears?

2008-01-28T16:54:00.000+05:30

Today was another wild wild day in the Stock Market. After plunging little over 800 points in the morning it recovered to close just 208 points in the negative… some recovery…. In fact it has crossed over into 18000 territory to close at 18152. That’s the round up, now for the not so great news. There is a very, and I mean VERY, strong chance that Mr. Y.V. Reddy is not going to come out with anything more notable that a minor repo rate cut. That’s basically not going to do anything other than give out a signal that the RBI will in time reduce rates. If you have the time, check out this article
[http://www.myiris.com/newsCentre/newsPopup.php?fileR=20080128141617170&dir=2008/01/28&secID=livenews]
So we could see the markets, especially the banking, and auto sectors do a belly flop tomorrow when the promised rate cut does not come through.
If you really want to frighten yourself with regards to the American market and its recession check out this particular blog
[http://investmentpostcards.wordpress.com/]
It has some extremely disturbing data on the fate of American bond insurers.
The markets are beginning to resemble a cowboy rodeo. I wonder what will happen if the Bull is replaced with a Whale or an Elephant, something more stable that doesn’t buck so much. Perhaps that’ll stop these wild swings. After all expecting the Fed to sacrifice the erring banks and clean up the system is expecting a tad too much.
It’s really funny how people never learn. Every few years the same thing happens. The market goes up, people get optimistic, the market goes up some more, people get euphoric, the market goes up even more, small caps become darlings of the market turning into multi-baggers overnight. Then one fine day something gives and everything comes crashing down. The market loses trillions of rupees, investors (traders really) see vast amounts of their money wiped out, margin calls left right and centre, the finance minister comes on the tele waxing eloquent about the strong domestic growth and GDP at 9%. Then barely a month after asserting that nothing could stop the market, the very same people insist that the markets are done for and nothing can help them recover. The bear market has begun!!! Then of course the market starts to recover, people cheer up, the market goes higher, people get a little more optimistic and the cycle continues. What’s the difference between a bear market and a correction? A correction today lasts a few days; a bear market lasts a few months. In today’s fast paced world the time span for everything has reduced. Maybe someone should start looking at valuations for a change and stop discounting two years forward growth today. Two years is a long time, margins contract, competition comes in, top management leave, growth slows, government’s change, policies change… a lot can happen in two years.
It’s a pity there aren’t any full time bears left in the market. The bulls have stampeded long enough.

The Mad Mad World of Market Meltdowns

2008-01-22T00:17:00.000+05:30

Don't know if I've mentioned this before, but I work in a stock brokerage firm that is a member of both the National and the Bombay Stock Exchange. Thus in addition to the regular monday morning blues, i also suffer the occasional "Black Monday"...Today was a double whammy, a monday and a very volatile "Black" monday... A perfectly rotten and evil day that saw markets collapse like a ballerina on an oil slick... The BSE had its largest intra day fall ever - in absolute points that is..... at one point in time we were a good 1700 odd points down... i really feel for those poor bulls stuck in long leveraged positions... your's is not a happy plight... the reasons for the crash... well they are many and varied. one gem was that the government was going to fall. another was that George Bush had proposed a growth plan that involved in some nebulous way, distributing $145 billion to the american tax payers. according to someone's calculation that worked out to $800 per tax payer.... either he doesn't know what things cost or he's mixed up the calculations of the american standard of living with that of somalia.... what the heck is a measley $800 going to do for someone with thousands in debt???? the difference as stephen roach succintly puts it, is this, during the tech boom and subsequent bust, tech contributed 12% to the US GDP. The housing industry on the contrary contributes a very hefty 72% to US GDP.... China's consumption is at $1 trillion v/s $9.5 trillion for the americans... Indian is almost no where at $650 bn... i agree with Mr. Roach when he says that no emerging market is going to be able to step into a breach caused by a slow down in US spending... but will $800 do it? i doubt it...
now the question on everyone's mind is .... when will this end? the bears (yours truly included) expected a correction... we even expected the market to come down to 18000 levels... well its done that.... so now what? do we rise like the phoenix or sink like the Titanic? i have a nasty feeling there's still a bit of sink left.... remember there need to be a few margin calls for today's trades... and the retail investors are still panicking.... the last time this happened was in 2006 when the commodity markets fell. today instead of the commodity markets its the us market, but the repercussions are very very similar. that time we sank close to 50% from 14000 odd to 8900.... so does that mean that this time round we will be seeing an index of 11000? i sincerely hope not....
my advice... stay in the large cap space... avoid all tips and so called multi-baggers like the plague, and buy on every fall.... that is in the last one hour of trading. chances are that we'll bounce back to 21000 by the time the budget is announced....

Kinky Boots

2008-01-19T21:03:00.000+05:30

I just finished watching this film called "Kinky Boots" on Star Movies.... all the women out there.... watch this film... the boots and the shoes are beyond awesome.... i just wish we could wear stuff like that here....
after watching "The Devil Wears Prada" i was all enthu for a few pairs of stilettos ... bought a whole bunch... they didn't last more than a month... bombay roads are awful... its not that i can't walk in them or anything... heck i look great in them... problem is, you step out of your nicely tiled office into a broken pavement strewed with construction debris, hawkers, litter, beggars and goodness knows what else..... my poor stilettos never had a chance....
perhaps its a good thing considering that fashion changes so quickly.... though i do think the makers might have made them a little more durable..... its strange how sneakers and most mens shoes are so usable and durable and in most cases manage to look good... women's wear on the other hand is, in my opinion, made by men who hate women.... i think we need a brand of women's footwear, made and designed by women for women.... i for one would pay big money for a pair of shoes that looked good, fit well and lasted at least 6 months.. is that asking too much? Is anyone listening....

The Rat Race

2008-01-18T23:32:00.001+05:30

I'm part of the "Rat Race" that is regular rush hour Mumbai.... i leave my tiny little flat in the surburbs between 7:25 and 7:30 in the morning so i can get one of two trains that will reach Churchgate Station at 8:30, just in time for me to catch a cab and get to work.... i spend the first hour of my day in a mad rush to get the train and then once i get the dratted thing, i spend another half an hour standing keeping an eye peeled for a few inches of space freed by someone getting off....
Train travel in Mumbai defies all laws of physics.... despite a fixed amount of space normally solid humans follow the laws of liquids and manage to find space for what seems like millions.... if there is even a couple of inches standing space somewhere with a handhold within reach... no matter how treacherous or uncomfortable ... someone will be on it.... the trains of Mumbai serve as an eternal symbol of the indomitable spirit of the working class of Mumbai.... no matter what.... we will brave disease, (extremely) cramped spaces, determined beggars and fish water just to catch our train.... its not that we can't afford more expensive modes of transport.... we can.. we just do't want the bother of getting stuck in a traffic jam...
the trains and the people that frequently use them are a wonderfull combination.... nothing can keep them apart... floods, riots, bomb blasts.... the trains will continue .....
battered, dusty, dirty but yet dependable..... even a 15 minute delay is a big enough event to make the local news...
i once saw a paper stuck to a seat in a train.... someone had put chewing gum on the seat.... disgusting isn't it? so someone else had put a piece of paper over that so that no one's clothes would get messed up by it.... to me that signifies the spirit of Mumbai.... there is poverty, there is crime... there are molesters galore... but there are also those who will come out and help.... those who will queue up outside hospitals to donate blood to the victims of bomb blasts... those who will make tea and carry it out with biscuits to millions who are trudging home through waist deep water in the floods... they didn't have to..... they could have stayed in... they chose not to....
With this city its love or hate... nothing inbetween..... its intense.... definitely not for the faint of heart.